I’ve only told a few people about this because I feel completely embarrassed—ashamed even—about what Dan and I have done. It’s something I feel we haven’t earned yet because we don’t have children, or a pet, or anyone besides ourselves and a few dying plants to look after. But nonetheless, we’d both rather watch episodes of Falling Skies than be on our hands and knees cleaning anything, so Dan and I have hired a cleaning lady. Or rather a cleaning crew, which sounds even worse! 3 people to clean up after us? What are we, slugs that leave a trail of slime behind us everywhere we go?!
We only have 1150 sq. ft. to keep clean. And so far, in the 10 months that we’ve lived here, we haven’t even been able to accomplish that! So, with some resignation from Dan about letting strangers into our home (not like we have anything to steal), we bit the bullet and called “Call the Mrs.” I mean, the name is just so convincing! I fully expected a woman in a polka dotted dress, high heels and a Lucille ball wig to show up, but alas, that didn’t happen.
I never want to be “The Mrs.” in the traditional sense of the word, so I’m really happy to be able to pay someone else to play into this outdated stereotype and clean my condo FOR ME! The only downfall so far has been that they don’t have dinner ready for you when you get home. Also, let’s be real, there aren’t a lot of super thorough and affordable Polish cleaning ladies in Southwest Michigan like there are in Chicago.
The cleaning crew comes once a month, so for 29 days, I struggle to keep up with the clutter and then on day 30, our home magically becomes the condo I’ve always dreamed of! Sparkling floors and windows. No dust. Anywhere. And an empty sink (they’ll put your dishes in the dishwasher for you if you ask nicely).
Did I mention I haven’t had to scrub a toilet in, like, 3 months? That’s a great feeling and totally worth the $65 that we spend to have somebody come in and do the dirty work once a month, which I think is super affordable for the peace of mind it provides. Also, if there is any clutter on the countertops, they just pile it all up in one spot, so you’re basically forced to go through it to remember what used to be spread out all over the kitchen counters or to find that thing you were supposed to mail 2 weeks ago.
If I’m being honest though, and I am, I still get terrified that people are going to just decide to “pop over”. If you do decide to spontaneously pop over, please do it on a day that we’ve agreed upon in advance, or on the 2nd Tuesday evening of every month, because if you do, our condo will smell fresh and all of my clutter will be piled up in certain areas of the house leading you to believe that we’re neat people. I mean, we are really neat, but it’s more like the groovy kind of neat than the OCD kind. I wish I was the latter and I keep holding out hope that it will happen before we add another human into the mix, but after almost 29 years of being alive I’m starting to doubt it!